Tuesday, August 23, 2011

The Fringe Benefits of Failure, and the Importance of Imagination!!

A superb piece that was forwarded to me by a friend... it is JK Rowling's commencement address at the annual meeting of the Harvard Alumni Association... 
It carries a message... superbly composed. Am printing it here in full for those who would like to read.
 
J.K. Rowling, author of the best-selling Harry Potter book series, delivers her Commencement Address, "The Fringe Benefits of Failure, and the Importance of Imagination," at the Annual Meeting of the Harvard Alumni Association.

President Faust, members of the Harvard Corporation and the Board of Overseers, members of the faculty, proud parents, and, above all, graduates.

The first thing I would like to say is 'thank you.' Not only has Harvard given me an extraordinary honour, but the weeks of fear and nausea I've experienced at the thought of giving this commencement address have made me lose weight. A win-win situation! Now all I have to do is take deep breaths, squint at the red banners and fool myself into believing I am at the world's best-educated Harry Potter convention.

Delivering a commencement address is a great responsibility; or so I thought until I cast my mind back to my own graduation. The commencement speaker that day was the distinguished British philosopher Baroness Mary Warnock. Reflecting on her speech has helped me enormously in writing this one, because it turns out that I can't remember a single word she said. This liberating discovery enables me to proceed without any fear that I might inadvertently influence you to abandon promising careers in business, law or politics for the giddy delights of becoming a gay wizard.

You see? If all you remember in years to come is the 'gay wizard' joke, I've still come out ahead of Baroness Mary Warnock. Achievable goals: the first step towards personal improvement.

Actually, I have wracked my mind and heart for what I ought to say to you today. I have asked myself what I wish I had known at my own graduation, and what important lessons I have learned in the 21 years that has expired between that day and this.

I have come up with two answers. On this wonderful day when we are gathered together to celebrate your academic success, I have decided to talk to you about the benefits of failure. And as you stand on the threshold of what is sometimes called 'real life', I want to extol the crucial importance of imagination.
These might seem quixotic or paradoxical choices, but please bear with me.

Looking back at the 21-year-old that I was at graduation, is a slightly uncomfortable experience for the 42-year-old that she has become. Half my lifetime ago, I was striking an uneasy balance between the ambition I had for myself, and what those closest to me expected of me.

I was convinced that the only thing I wanted to do, ever, was to write novels. However, my parents, both of whom came from impoverished backgrounds and neither of whom had been to college, took the view that my overactive imagination was an amusing personal quirk that could never pay a mortgage, or secure a pension. They had hoped that I would take a vocational degree; I wanted to study English Literature. A compromise was reached that in retrospect satisfied nobody, and I went up to study Modern Languages. Hardly had my parents' car rounded the corner at the end of the road than I ditched German and scuttled off down the Classics corridor.

I cannot remember telling my parents that I was studying Classics; they might well have found out for the first time on graduation day. Of all subjects on this planet, I think they would have been hard put to name one less useful than Greek mythology when it came to securing the keys to an executive bathroom.

I would like to make it clear, in parenthesis, that I do not blame my parents for their point of view. There is an expiry date on blaming your parents for steering you in the wrong direction; the moment you are old enough to take the wheel, responsibility lies with you. What is more, I cannot criticise my parents for hoping that I would never experience poverty. They had been poor themselves, and I have since been poor, and I quite agree with them that it is not an ennobling experience. Poverty entails fear, and stress, and sometimes depression; it means a thousand petty humiliations and hardships. Climbing out of poverty by your own efforts, that is indeed something on which to pride yourself, but poverty itself is romanticised only by fools.

What I feared most for myself at your age was not poverty, but failure.

At your age, in spite of a distinct lack of motivation at university, where I had spent far too long in the coffee bar writing stories, and far too little time at lectures, I had a knack for passing examinations, and that, for years, had been the measure of success in my life and that of my peers.

I am not dull enough to suppose that because you are young, gifted and well-educated, you have never known hardship or heartbreak. Talent and intelligence never yet inoculated anyone against the caprice of the Fates, and I do not for a moment suppose that everyone here has enjoyed an existence of unruffled privilege and contentment.

However, the fact that you are graduating from Harvard suggests that you are not very well-acquainted with failure. You might be driven by a fear of failure quite as much as a desire for success. Indeed, your conception of failure might not be too far from the average person's idea of success, so high have you already flown academically.

Ultimately, we all have to decide for ourselves what constitutes failure, but the world is quite eager to give you a set of criteria if you let it. So I think it fair to say that by any conventional measure, a mere seven years after my graduation day, I had failed on an epic scale. An exceptionally short-lived marriage had imploded, and I was jobless, a lone parent, and as poor as it is possible to be in modern Britain, without being homeless. The fears my parents had had for me, and that I had had for myself, had both come to pass, and by every usual standard, I was the biggest failure I knew.

Now, I am not going to stand here and tell you that failure is fun. That period of my life was a dark one, and I had no idea that there was going to be what the press has since represented as a kind of fairy tale resolution. I had no idea how far the tunnel extended, and for a long time, any light at the end of it was a hope rather than a reality.

So why do I talk about the benefits of failure? Simply because failure meant a stripping away of the inessential. I stopped pretending to myself that I was anything other than what I was, and began to direct all my energy into finishing the only work that mattered to me. Had I really succeeded at anything else, I might never have found the determination to succeed in the one arena I believed I truly belonged. I was set free, because my greatest fear had already been realised, and I was still alive, and I still had a daughter whom I adored, and I had an old typewriter and a big idea. And so rock bottom became the solid foundation on which I rebuilt my life.

You might never fail on the scale I did, but some failure in life is inevitable. It is impossible to live without failing at something, unless you live so cautiously that you might as well not have lived at all - in which case, you fail by default.

Failure gave me an inner security that I had never attained by passing examinations. Failure taught me things about myself that I could have learned no other way. I discovered that I had a strong will, and more discipline than I had suspected; I also found out that I had friends whose value was truly above rubies.

The knowledge that you have emerged wiser and stronger from setbacks means that you are, ever after, secure in your ability to survive. You will never truly know yourself, or the strength of your relationships, until both have been tested by adversity. Such knowledge is a true gift, for all that it is painfully won, and it has been worth more to me than any qualification I ever earned.

Given a time machine or a Time Turner, I would tell my 21-year-old self that personal happiness lies in knowing that life is not a check-list of acquisition or achievement. Your qualifications, your CV, are not your life, though you will meet many people of my age and older who confuse the two. Life is difficult, and complicated, and beyond anyone's total control, and the humility to know that will enable you to survive its vicissitudes.

You might think that I chose my second theme, the importance of imagination, because of the part it played in rebuilding my life, but that is not wholly so. Though I will defend the value of bedtime stories to my last gasp, I have learned to value imagination in a much broader sense. Imagination is not only the uniquely human capacity to envision that which is not, and therefore the fount of all invention and innovation. In its arguably most transformative and revelatory capacity, it is the power that enables us to empathise with humans whose experiences we have never shared.

One of the greatest formative experiences of my life preceded Harry Potter, though it informed much of what I subsequently wrote in those books. This revelation came in the form of one of my earliest day jobs. Though I was sloping off to write stories during my lunch hours, I paid the rent in my early 20s by working in the research department at Amnesty International's headquarters in London.

There in my little office I read hastily scribbled letters smuggled out of totalitarian regimes by men and women who were risking imprisonment to inform the outside world of what was happening to them. I saw photographs of those who had disappeared without trace, sent to Amnesty by their desperate families and friends. I read the testimony of torture victims and saw pictures of their injuries. I opened handwritten, eye-witness accounts of summary trials and executions, of kidnappings and rapes.

Many of my co-workers were ex-political prisoners, people who had been displaced from their homes, or fled into exile, because they had the temerity to think independently of their government. Visitors to our office included those who had come to give information, or to try and find out what had happened to those they had been forced to leave behind.

I shall never forget the African torture victim, a young man no older than I was at the time, who had become mentally ill after all he had endured in his homeland. He trembled uncontrollably as he spoke into a video camera about the brutality inflicted upon him. He was a foot taller than I was, and seemed as fragile as a child. I was given the job of escorting him to the Underground Station afterwards, and this man whose life had been shattered by cruelty took my hand with exquisite courtesy, and wished me future happiness.

And as long as I live I shall remember walking along an empty corridor and suddenly hearing, from behind a closed door, a scream of pain and horror such as I have never heard since. The door opened, and the researcher poked out her head and told me to run and make a hot drink for the young man sitting with her. She had just given him the news that in retaliation for his own outspokenness against his country's regime, his mother had been seized and executed.

Every day of my working week in my early 20s I was reminded how incredibly fortunate I was, to live in a country with a democratically elected government, where legal representation and a public trial were the rights of everyone.

Every day, I saw more evidence about the evils humankind will inflict on their fellow humans, to gain or maintain power. I began to have nightmares, literal nightmares, about some of the things I saw, heard and read.

And yet I also learned more about human goodness at Amnesty International than I had ever known before.
Amnesty mobilises thousands of people who have never been tortured or imprisoned for their beliefs to act on behalf of those who have. The power of human empathy, leading to collective action, saves lives, and frees prisoners. Ordinary people, whose personal well-being and security are assured, join together in huge numbers to save people they do not know, and will never meet. My small participation in that process was one of the most humbling and inspiring experiences of my life.

Unlike any other creature on this planet, humans can learn and understand, without having experienced. They can think themselves into other people's minds, imagine themselves into other people's places.

Of course, this is a power, like my brand of fictional magic, that is morally neutral. One might use such an ability to manipulate, or control, just as much as to understand or sympathise.

And many prefer not to exercise their imaginations at all. They choose to remain comfortably within the bounds of their own experience, never troubling to wonder how it would feel to have been born other than they are. They can refuse to hear screams or to peer inside cages; they can close their minds and hearts to any suffering that does not touch them personally; they can refuse to know.

I might be tempted to envy people who can live that way, except that I do not think they have any fewer nightmares than I do. Choosing to live in narrow spaces can lead to a form of mental agoraphobia, and that brings its own terrors. I think the wilfully unimaginative see more monsters. They are often more afraid.

What is more, those who choose not to empathise may enable real monsters. For without ever committing an act of outright evil ourselves, we collude with it, through our own apathy.

One of the many things I learned at the end of that Classics corridor down which I ventured at the age of 18, in search of something I could not then define, was this, written by the Greek author Plutarch: What we achieve inwardly will change outer reality.

That is an astonishing statement and yet proven a thousand times every day of our lives. It expresses, in part, our inescapable connection with the outside world, the fact that we touch other people's lives simply by existing.

But how much more are you, Harvard graduates of 2008, likely to touch other people's lives? Your intelligence, your capacity for hard work, the education you have earned and received, give you unique status, and unique responsibilities. Even your nationality sets you apart. The great majority of you belong to the world's only remaining superpower. The way you vote, the way you live, the way you protest, the pressure you bring to bear on your government, has an impact way beyond your borders. That is your privilege, and your burden.

If you choose to use your status and influence to raise your voice on behalf of those who have no voice; if you choose to identify not only with the powerful, but with the powerless; if you retain the ability to imagine yourself into the lives of those who do not have your advantages, then it will not only be your proud families who celebrate your existence, but thousands and millions of people whose reality you have helped transform for the better. We do not need magic to change the world, we carry all the power we need inside ourselves already: we have the power to imagine better.

I am nearly finished. I have one last hope for you, which is something that I already had at 21. The friends with whom I sat on graduation day have been my friends for life. They are my children's godparents, the people to whom I've been able to turn in times of trouble, friends who have been kind enough not to sue me when I've used their names for Death Eaters. At our graduation we were bound by enormous affection, by our shared experience of a time that could never come again, and, of course, by the knowledge that we held certain photographic evidence that would be exceptionally valuable if any of us ran for Prime Minister.
 
So today, I can wish you nothing better than similar friendships. And tomorrow, I hope that even if you remember not a single word of mine, you remember those of Seneca, another of those old Romans I met when I fled down the Classics corridor, in retreat from career ladders, in search of ancient wisdom:
As is a tale, so is life: not how long it is, but how good it is, is what matters.
 
I wish you all very good lives.
Thank you very much.

Monday, May 23, 2011

One reason I don’t drink is that I want to know when I am having a good time.

On a balmy Sunday noon, my mobile receives a sms. Its from my cousin.

"Alcohol is not an answer to every question." - Swami Vivekanand

"But it definitely helps you forget the question" - Swami Vijay Mallya

And such jokes are endless... i guess almost all of you must have read 'I read the evils of drinking and i gave up reading' or 'alchohol can cause pregnancy' or 'dont drink and drive or you may hit the bump and spill your drink.' Such jokes galore...

Alcohol -- aahhh.... the thing i hate the most. How it has always caused irritation, frustration, fights, disgust and hatred. Alcohol has always been a thought provoking subject for me. Having seen too many hindi movies, i have been brought up to think that alcohol is for the baddies. The good guys dont even touch alcohol. People who drink are wife-beaters, spend-thrifts, wasted, womanisers. Afterall, never saw Salman, Shahrukh or Aamir drinking. It was only Amrish Puri, Anupam Kher and Gulshan Grover who drank... Isnt it?

The real life samples were even worse. One was a wife-beater and therefore divorced. Another debt ridden because he spent it all on alcohol. He was later divorced. One was suffering from liver cancer. Left his wife in debt and children scarred for the rest of their lives.

And then i met Amul. At 17, Amul not only enjoyed his vodka and whiskey but also had a preference. 'On the rocks, please'. It repelled it me at first. The smell, his body language, his conversations after the drink... everything. And like a good dutiful committed boyfriend, he gave it all up for me. But little did i know then that giving up something for someone you love doesnt last too long. So after series of fights, conversations, discussions, silent snares.... i somewhere down the line accepted that my guy drinks. And somewhere down the line Amul compromised that he wouldnt take too much liberty with the liberty and kept his consumption limited (which by the way completely depends upon the equation we share at that moment. If there's a tiff going on, he drinks away to glory, only to prove a point. And if everything is hunky-dory and fairy tale-ish, his one drink will last him 4 hours)

I do not know why does he drink. I have never asked him. I guess even if i was to ask him, i doubt he did have an answer. He would just gaze at me with a puzzled look on his face, trying to figure out in his mind, 'now where is this coming from'. I seriously doubt he would even give my question a thought. Perhaps, because there isnt a clear answer to it. Maybe Amul drinks because he was brought up in that kind of environment. Where drinking has been a way to network, to beat the stress, to catch up with family or just to show off to friends who live in a dry state. For my father-in-law, a glass of whiskey is actually a friend. He drinks when he is stressed, he drinks when he is celebrating, he drinks to good weather, he drinks to bad weather, he drinks to good health, he drinks when he is tired. A drink perhaps settles him down. For my own dad, drinking is better than facebook or orkut or twitter. A drink gives him an opportunity to be with people with whom he can share his tales and jokes. Sometimes he even uses winter and low temperatures as an excuse to have a peg or two. My friends have their own reasons. While one enjoys her glass of wine or vodka everytime she is with her friends or family, another one enjoys it because it was like a forbidden fruit all her life and now that there's no one to stop her or question her, she doesnt mind getting wasted once in a while. One friend has recently started drinking. I dont know why. Perhaps just to fit in. And now he drinks like he is catching up on the lost time. :)

As for me, I dont drink. Its not like i have never tasted alcohol. I was introduced to beer by my dad. I hated it from the word 'go'. I have never tasted whiskey. I have had vodka on a couple of occasions. I dont remember how many times but the last time i had it was in Ladakh. I used 'its bloody cold' as an excuse. I infact even ordered one mojitos in a Bangkok bar but couldnt drink it. If there's something, i would confess, i like is Bacardi Breezer. 'But thats hardly alcohol', says Amul. I occasionally take Coffee Liquor. But thats more for coffee than for liquor. So maybe you guys will allow me to conclude that i dont drink. Amul anyway prefers that i dont drink. 'You talk too much even without a drink,' is his explanation.

Maybe i am a hypocrite when it comes to alcohol. :)

But i totally, i repeat, i totally hate the meets where people in ahmedabad catch up and have drinks. Whatte bloody waste of time. But again, if the same set of people were at a beach or in a pub, talking and having a drink, i wouldnt hate it that much. I hate it when Amul is all wasted and reeks of alcohol and then drives back home. It repels me to no extent. But i dont mind it when Amul is having a drink when we are out holidaying and he's sharing a tale with me. I hate it when every occasion in my home is accompanied by a drinking session. But i dont mind it when it gives an opportunity for the entire family to recall the old times and break into old songs. I hate it when men sometimes prefer a glass of whiskey to end their day than have a small, inconsequential and heartfelt chat with their spouses. But then when spouses act all pricey and demanding and can talk nothing except the irregularities of a maid servant or crib about the office, maybe a glass of whiskey is a better choice.

A few people have even conveyed how sorry they feel as i dont drink. Little do they know, that its easier to drink and forget. Maybe I am tougher than those people. I can deal with life without getting intoxicated. But yes - I envy you all who drink. Atleast you guys know whom to blame for everything.


Thursday, May 19, 2011

Children of the Taliban

The day i turned 29, the entire world was celebrating. Afterall, the US had gunned down their No. 1 enemy on Pakistani soil. Osama Bin Laden, was found in a mansion in Abottabad in Northern Pakistan and in a swift night operation, was killed, identified and buried at sea.

 OSAMA BIN LADEN

If 9/11 became a watershed in the United States of America's history, Osama Bin Laden's death has become one for the Al-Qaeda. First the terrorist organisation didnt owe up or confirm. Four days later, a statement was issued. Finally Al-Qaeda accepted that Osama Bin Laden, the Al Qaeda leader and military commander was no more. The following days were spent in speculating the operation, the Pakistan-US relations, the blame game... where Al-Qaeda quietly pondered over its future. Who will take the reigns of this world wide empire? Will their fight against the 'kafirs' continue? What will happen to this organisation spread across the world, taking on a new battle everyday?

Maybe Osama's Will contains all those answers. I am sure when Osama was cocooned in that mansion of his for last 5 to 7 years (as per unconfirmed reports), he must have chalked out a plan for the future of Al-Qaeda. The recent reports say that Saif-Al-Adel, an egyptian has been chosen as an interim Al-Qaeda chief.

But even as Al-Qaeda picks up the pieces after Osama's death, the international media is rife with the prospect of Taliban using this opportunity to separate itself from Al-Qaeda. It was afterall Osama Bin Laden who had sworn allegiance to the Taliban leader Mullah Omar in his fight against the soviets. In return, Mullah Omar stood by Osama and helped carry out the 9/11 attacks and later providing him with cover to hide from the forces hunting for him. But now with Osama gone, Taliban is increasingly looking at becoming world's No. 1 terror organisation.
Taliban 

After almost being driven out of Afghanistan, having found refuge in Pakistan's northern SWAT valley, the taliban is slowly but surely emerging as the next big threat for the world. And giving tough competition is Pakistan's own home grown terror organisation - Lashkar-e-Toiba, openly and proudly supported by the Pakistan's ISI and Army. (But we will discuss LeT some other day)

Taliban will be now be the group to look out for. After reading several media reports from the middle east, US, UK and from various organisations, it is clearly becoming evident that Taliban is fully geared to find its ground in Pakistan and is infact spreading its wings across the country.


One of the most compelling documentary that i recently saw was CHILDREN OF THE TALIBAN. It is about how Taliban is now training kids to spread its empire and 'using them to execute allah's will'. For kids who have grown up in last decade in Pakistan's SWAT valley, the North Western Frontier Province, the law-less tribal lands; life has only been about war, playing with real guns, learning about jihad and dreaming of becoming a fidayeen (suicide bomber) one day. Nicknamed as 'weapons of mass destruction' by the Taliban, these young kids aged anywhere between 5 to 15 yrs, have now become a dominant force in the Taliban today. One madrassa teacher in this documentary also goes on to say how in this war, no matter how many muslims die, we will never run out of sacrificial lambs. This documentary is appalling, even terrifying but very very insightful.

Here's a link for those interesting in watching it. A superb watch and i strongly recommend it. 

Its disheartening and shocking to see how kids are being brainwashed in Pakistan. What is more unbelievable is that when a journalist (and if i may add a female journalist) can unearth whats happening to the country, how is it that the Pakistani establishment doesnt know about it? But then, its world famous now that Pakistan has always turned a blind eye and deaf ear... Afterall, they didnt even know Osama was living right alongside them.

Thursday, April 28, 2011

Mukhtar Mai's story

In June 2002, Shaqoor, a 12 year old boy in Meerwala village of Muzzarfargarh district in Pakistan, was accused of illicit sex with a girl of the more powerful community of their village. In Meerwala, the Mastoi clan ruled the tribal council. Mastoi's were richer and powerful as opposed to the Tatla clan of the same village. Shaqoor was from the Tatla clan while the girl - Nasim was from the Mastoi.

The tribal council was outraged by the immodesty of the boy. Four Mastoi men abducted Shaqoor, took him to fields and sodomised him. Shaqoor's mother and sister begged the perpetrators to show some mercy. The matter went to the local tribal council dominated by the Mastoi's.

Shaqoor's family proposed Shaqoor's marriage to Nasim to settle the matter. The Mastoi's demanded that illicit sex be avenged by illicit sex. The Mastoi men who gathered around the council refused any other settlement. The powerful prevailed. Shaqoor's elder sister - Mukhtar Mai was dragged by the Mastoi men to a barn and raped several times by four men to avenge the honour of the Mastoi clan.


To add to her humiliation, Mukhtar Mai was also paraded naked in front of the entire village before her father wrapped a shawl around her and took her home. The family expected Mukhtar to end her life to end their trauma. Mukhtar did unthinkable. She went to the police station and filed a complaint.

Mukhtar was a timid, illiterate girl, who had never raised her voice in the family household. In June 2002, after being raped, when she could barely walk, she walked several kilometers to the nearby police station to file her complaint. She knew she was taking on a powerful clan. But in her heart, she knew she had nothing to lose. Mukhtar was determined to send the culprits to jail.

Her courage stood by her. The media took attention. The Chief Justice of Pakistan's Supreme Court called it the most heinous crime of the 21st century. The Pakistan government compensated her with 5 lakh rupees. And her story was picked up by all international news agencies. Mukhtar's one step of courage ensured that Pakistan took notice of her plight.


In the name of honour - Mukhtar Mai's Memoir

In 9 years since 2002, Mukhtar has opened a girls school in her village from the aid she got from Pakistan government. An illiterate Mukhtar got educated. She has also opened a centre to help other rape victims and continues to tour the world to share her story with audiences worldwide. She also broke the stigma and married a police constable from her own village in 2009. She wrote her memoir which has been translated into several languages abroad. And all this while, her legal battle against those who raped her continued. The matter progressed from the local court to the Lahore High Court till in 2005, the Supreme Court of Pakistan took a suo moto notice of the Lahore High Court's verdict. Lahore High Court had acquitted 5 out of the 6 accused. While 5 walked free, the 6th death penalty was reduced to life imprisonment.



Its been almost 9 years since that fateful day when Mukhtar was raped. On April 22nd this year, the same Supreme Court who called this 'the most heinous crime of the 21st century', acquitted 5 out of the 6 accused in the case. To add to her wounds, the Supreme Court of Pakistan, upheld Lahore High Court's judgement of awarding life imprisonment to the sixth accused instead of death penalty.
 
Mukhtar is disappointed. Judiciary was her last hope.

 Even as the supreme court verdict has sparked off another debate in Pakistan, i only wonder if this is the end of the road for Mukhtar or will she, like last time, do the unthinkable? I wont comment on the state of affairs in Pakistan. For i think, that India too has a lot of introspection to do, when it comes to 'rape law'. I can only feel Mukhtar's pain. She might be wondering whether getting raped was worse or being denied justice? I only hope her country doesnt let her down.