55 vs 25

"Jidhar dekho udar problems hi problems hain... "

That was the first line i heard today morning as i was woken up by a loud conversation taking place in my house. My aunt was talking to someone on the phone. I dont know what the conversation was about... but i completely agreed with the statement she made and was quick enough to gain consciousness about the world... and if i may add the 'times' we live in.

This week, infact, has been quite peculiar. Everybody and anybody has been behaving difficult. If on one hand, my travel agent who hires us the official car, is threatening to withdraw the taxi till we make the payment... on the other hand, there's my maternal grand mother who's in an extremely critical condition, which reduces my mother to tears, at every available opportunity. In both the cases, there is little i can do but sympathize...

While i can manage these problems... time and again, i have been confronted by problems (not directly affecting me) which have no solution. And they have raised many questions in my mind. In these recent days, i have realised how important task it is to bring up children. Its not just about providing them the best things in life... its also about depriving them of stuff so that they learn to value... Its not only about sharing and being part of your children's lives... but you should also realise when should you stop interfering... Its not only about providing your kids with financial support unconditionally... but its also necessary to leave them 'cashless' to realise what it takes to earn money...

Its been a heavy week to say the least...

I am not going to take names... but people might relate to these cases...

One of our family friend is a Doctor. Well educated, well settled, born with a silver spoon infact. He was born in 1950 and his parents had a car then... He could afford education in the US in his 20s. Instead chose to pursue medicine and became doctor. He married a nice homely girl and years saw them become parents to a girl and a boy. Today, the girl, who is independent in her thoughts but dependent on her parents otherwise, has chosen a partner for herself. Happens so that the guy is in his early thirties, earns just enough, has dependent parents. This uncle and aunt of mine, approached me to speak to their daughter to see if i could put "some sense" into her head.

They had made up their minds... The boy wasnt wealthy enough (what would they say in their circle perhaps was what was hounding them?). They tried every book in the trick to convince me that the boy wasnt worth spending a lifetime with and that by hook or by crook, their daughter will have to accept their decision.


What surprised me was that they hadnt even bothered to meet the guy. I was shocked to hear the parameters they considered neccessary to chose a life partner. Educated, potential to earn 'good' money and had a job, living away from parents. You see, his daughter, according to them, wasnt capable of handling a joint family. And therefore, the guy she had chosen for herself, who didnt fit their mould, wasnt good enough.

The discussion lasted four hours. I completely failed at convincing him that its a good idea to meet the guy and that children, after a certain age, are best left to decide for themselves. If nothing, they will emerge smarter and stronger from their experiences. But they would have none of it.

I guess our society just gives our elders the 'unspoken' privilege of deciding everything for their children. Some parents fail to realise that their children's happiness should weigh before their criteria. I doubt if parents actually keep their children's interest in mind while looking for life partners. More often than not, they are looking for someone, who will make them proud rather than keep their child happy. I learnt one lesson though - that people who claim to be broad minded and open about ideas and life, are not really putting their words into practise.

And if this loooooong discussion wasnt enough to roll my dad and me into after-discussions... i came across this another classic example of fights between a couple because the wife was tired of taking care of her invalid mother-in-law, coping with her kids and her full time job.


The husband and wife are not on talking terms at present. The problem is that the wife thinks her husband is taking her for granted, not paying enough attention to her, hardly helping out with the chores and plus the burden of taking care of 'his' mother. (Her cry: Why cant she stay with your younger brother?)

The husband is tired of her cribbing. He feels his wife doesnt respect his mother enough. Infact, whatever she is doing for his mother, is just a 'show'. (His cry: She hardly cares about her. Just giving medicines on time and feeding her doesnt mean you are looking after her.)


Not to forget that this couple has been having these fights over a decade now. The wife isnt comfortable with the mother-in-law around. The husband is just too much of a loving son, not to abandon his mother, only because his wife is not ready to 'accept' her.

I wasnt a part of this discussion... but i was in my room.. which was in hearing distance of this conversion. The tit and tats went on for an hour. My mom was really drowsy and she could hardly help these people out but she was a patient ear. My mom tried to pacify both of them... but they both still stood their grounds. It was time for them to leave and finally my mom could take a nap. But i was so disturbed.

Why is it so difficult for people to accept that your partners have a family? That your partner was brought up by a couple - who has loved him/her much much more than you have? Is it really difficult to make some adjustments if you have to accomodate your partner's parents? Or is it just 'inconvenience' to your lifestyle? I dont understand why couples fail to remember that our parents 'never left us alone' so that they could continue with their lifestyle? Ask any parent and they will tell you how they saved up for a home to house his family - or gave up a little bit of their sleep so that they could spend some time with their children among so many responsibilities. Any parent will vouch how they have given up on things and activities for their kids - my dad gave up smoking, my mom hardly slept with two kids, her job, her hobby, her household responsibilities. I have seen people around who have traveled for weeks and weeks together to give their children a better life. I have seen parents who have broken their fixed deposits to send their children for higher education. Infact one my relatives, broke her fixed deposit because her child wanted a CBZ for his birthday.

When our parents, without even blinking, so unconditionally, have done so much for us... cant we just give them the same place in our lives???

But i guess not many people understand. I am keeping my fingers crossed. I really really hope that God gives us (devam, amul and me) enough sense to look after our parents right. I hope we never disappoint them or hurt them or let them down.

Politics Divides, Cricket Unites

Monday, 15th Dec. 15:20 hours:

I had just finished interviewing the Vice Chancellor of the Gujarat University, when dad called to say, 'Neo Sports kem nathi aavtu?' (Why arent we receiving the Neo Sports channel?) I couldnt find an answer to that... but he said that India was on verge of winning the test match against England. I was suddenly out of my lethargic slumber... all excited and wanting to reach home to see the final moments of the first test.

Rewind to Sunday evening, 14th Dec. 20:00 hours, Jayshiva:

"Its too big a score to win," exclaimed Arjun. "India is not good at chasing such a good score." The enthusiastic Indian cricket nationalist spirit in me blurted out, "If Sachin, Gambhir, Yuvraaj and Sehwag play their knocks... we will." In a way my prophecy had come true...

I had no idea my comments would stand up for me just 20 hours later... I was ecstatic. I messaged guys (Amul, Chintan, Arjun) who were witness to the conversation we had last night... as to what they had to say about their "unreliable" Indian cricket team winning the test match...

While Amul was surprised... Arjun was caught with his foot in mouth... and Chintan was sleeping.. he called later to say that he didnt watch the match... but Tendulkar was GOD.

Amul - Chintan - Arjun

Amul: "Shit, they won...!!!" (He immediately called to say that he couldnt believe it... he promised to rush home soon to celebrate the victory... which we did by having Pau Gathiya from Bhavnagar)

Arjun: "Bloody fantastic... I missed most of today's play because of office but once i knew Sehwag has given us the right start yesterday there was this feeling that if two other top order guys fire then we are going to win. Came home just in time to watch sachin sweep Swan for a four and an amazing victory. This is the fourth highest run chase ever, which makes it even special. And to add to that, dhoni has won all four tests he has captained. Super Stuff."

Chintan: "Tendulkar is god and there is none more exciting to watch bat then Sehwag. So good to see Yuvi find test form. Amazing team effort. We sure feel invincible right now, atleast on the cricket field."

Just like Chintan, Sachin Tendulkar too couldnt talk of his feat without referring to 26/11 attack on Mumbai. I caught the post match celebrations and ceremony on tv. Tendulkar was happy and at the same time told media, "Its hard to concentrate on the game after what has happened in Mumbai. Though cricket is too small compared to this nation... i hope this 100 (he scored 103) brings some happiness to people of Mumbai." It was his way of giving something to the Mumbaikars...


"I thank those who stood up to the terrorists and who made sure that they were captured or shot dead as the terrorists were many. I salute the NSG commandos, Taj Hotel staff, police, public and everyone," Tendulkar said.

The Mumbai Terror Attack has affected one and all... which includes the Indian Cricket Team. Indian skipper, Mahendra Singh Dhoni, before the test match had said that lets hope the first Test against England will help the country heal the scars of last month's militant attacks in Mumbai.

And it has in a way... for once the television channels dropped the 'mud-slinging comments by India-Pakistan' as headlines and had cricket as its first headline. After weeks, the anchors on television channels appeared to have smiled while giving us out News. And it was such a good break to come back home and blog something other than terrorism... Today's match - with Sehwag's 83, Gambhir's 66, Sachin's 103 and Yuvraaj's 85 was a nice break from last two week's depressed state of affairs (10 terrorists killed, 20 terrorists demanded, 195 civilians killed, 13 parties agreeing to the Federal Investigative Agency)... With Politicians hardly able to come together to form a federal investigative agency, it was great to see that atleast our Indian Cricket team has an amazing team spirit... they make me believe that its possible to work together... that its possible to stand by each other and play the game in true spirit and emerge victorious... it was an amazing team effort. Only if our politicians understood...

May be Men in White can learn a lesson or two from the Men in Blue.

India has been raped: M F Hussain

M F Hussain seemed quite miffed with the recent terror attack on Mumbai. And he has conveyed that on canvass. His reaction to the Mumbai tragedy, the work that he has named as 'Rape of India' has become the highlight of an exhibition on Indian contemporary visual arts at London's prestigious Serpentine gallery. He has also said that "hope the youth will rise and throw the old fogies away." Voices of aggression have come from all the nooks and corners of this world against the terror attack.

While Washington, London, Berlin, Russia have all voiced their angst against the perpetrators and pledged their support for India, some voices have arrived from the most unexpected corners. I am quite surprised at the way the Pakistani Media (especially Dawn and Geo TV) have taken up the task of investigating if the terrorists were actually from Pakistan. Much to the Pakistani hukumat's embarrasment, the fact which we knew within 24 hours of the attack, has been proved by their own fourth estate. I would like to credit Pakistani media with supporting the truth even as it goes on to establish that their own nationals were involved in an attack on India.

I am sure the Pakistanis (I mean the local citizens) too are ashamed at the revelation. For a week, they cried hoarse about how India had failed at providing any proof that the attack was launched from their soil. Some of them went on to boast that India was jumping the gun too soon and was pointing fingers at Pakistan out of mere habit. Sorry to disappoint you but India has ample proof that the switch that triggered the attack was pulled in Pakistan... the perpetrators who terrorised Mumbai were Pakistani nationals... the commando like training they received was imparted by none other than Pakistan's ex-army officials... The proof is there. And we will soon hand it over to you. Infact not only to you, but to America as well as the entire world to see.

India's external minister, Pranab Mukherjee, in his meeting with Condoleeze Rice (US's secretary of state), made it amply clear that India's decent behaviour, shouldnt be mistaken for its weakness. I agree, Mr. Mukherjee. India has been nice enough to support the travel ties, cricketing ties, cultural and trade ties with Pakistan... But i think we should cut off all the ties with Pakistan. We dont need to play cricket with them. Though i love Rahat Fateh Ali Khan, i dont mind kicking him out of our country. Most Indian Muslims too have come out strongly against Pakistan.

Which has been the most noteworthy. If groups like the Lashkar or Jamaat ud dawa or al qaeda, claim to be fighting for Islam - and if this has been their reason to launch an attack on India to establish their caliphate (Rule of Islam in this World)... please hear it loud and clear that the Indian Muslims are not interested. And in your bid to establish your own Islamic world, let me remind you that out of 141 civilians that died in the attack - 44 were muslims. If you are fighting for them - you do not realise that muslims have become targets of muslims. Noted lyricist and poet, Javed Akhtar, who came out to condemn the attacks, said, "Humme hi badalna hoga... woh (pakistan) to kabhi badalenge nahi... isi liye humme hi badal na hoga." He's an Indian Muslim.

Shahrukh said, "I have read the holy Quran. I read it aloud to my children. I strongly believe that there's one islam by Allah, and there's another by the Mullahs." Aamir observed Eid with a black band on his hand. In his blog (http://www.aamirkhan.com/blog.htm), Aamir calls the terrorists - AK 47 toting maniacs, and says, "Terrorists are not Hindu or Muslim or Christian. They are not people of religion or God. They are people who have gone totally sick in their head and have to be dealt with in that manner."

Infact, one of the most polarised states of India - Gujarat too saw muslims coming out and condemning the attack. Infact in places like Navasari, Rajkot, Vadodara and Ahmedabad, Muslims burnt the Pakistani flag to show their anguish. I appreciate their solidarity. In times like this, when the attack comes from foreign land, in the name of religion - the muslims in Gujarat have shown that its not religion which is the problem.. its the nation that's the problem. Not only big Muslim names but also the common Indian Muslim has stood by India today to condemn the attack that originated in the name of Islam.

Its time Pakistan cracked down on their terror factories. Because if they dont, we will. We dont want a war... but dont take our decency for our weakness. As one of my very close friend puts it, 'Jab time aayega... tab andar khuss kar maarenge...'

What Pakistan feels about the Mumbai Terror Attack

Moments after Mumbai attack was shown live on television, reports started pouring in that the terrorists had come via the sea route from Karachi. The updates that kept coming later, made it amply clear that terrorists not only came from Karachi but were born and bred in Pakistan, picked up as recruits in Pakistan, trained on the Pakistani soil, by some Pakistanis who belong to the Lashkar-e-Toiba group. It was clear that PAKISTAN HAD ATTACKED MUMBAI. (I dont care if people think i am generalising. If so much can be allowed in the land of Pakistan, i have rights to generalize.)

So when we can all see it that where the attack came from... Pakistanis would beg to differ.

Today's Indian Express has a nice report of how the Pakistan media has been carrying this news. Forgive me for plagiarism but i would love to share this with the readers of my blog.

TALKING PAK

With Mumbai 26/11 escalating tensions between India and Pakistan, the hostilities are playing out on a different platform: the media and the Net. While the Indian media has been talking of the “Pak angle”, the media in Pakistan has declared a virtual war on the Indian government and media. It is “hurt and angry” that India is “again” pointing fingers at Pakistan “without any proof”. Sympathy after initial news of the attacks gave way to defensiveness when Pakistan was first blamed, then to belligerence as the blame game intensified. Here, we tune in to some Pakistani TV channels, zoom into their blogosphere and peep into online social groups to hear their voices—mostly angry, some jingoistic and a few restrained.

TV: The big picture

News 1: Zaid Hamid, ‘security consultant and strategic defence analyst’, is a fixture on this channel: whether it’s on Mujhe Ikhhtilaf Hai with Qudsia Qadir or on Siyasat Aur Pakistan with Faisal Rahman. On Mujhe Ikhhtilaf Hai (I differ), Hamid made incendiary comments on how the Mumbai blasts are the handiwork of "Western and Hindu Zionists". "The Indians wanted to orchestrate 9/11 and recreate the drama of that but failed miserably," he says. He continued: "Inki shaklein Hinduonwali hain, jis zabaan mein guftagoo kar rahein hain, woh zabaan koi Pakistani istemaal nahin karta hai". (The terrorists looked like Hindus and their dialect was not what any Pakistani would speak)

Aaj TV: On the programme Live with Talat, Talat Hussain wondered if India and its media are jumping the gun by "instinctively pointing fingers at Pakistan". A clipping of Prime Minister Manmohan Singh’s address to the nation, promising to "strongly take up with Pakistan…that the use of their territory for launching an attack on India will not be tolerated", is followed by Hussain citing the Samjhauta blasts of February 2007. Then, too, India and its media—newspapers and TV channels—blamed Pakistan-based groups. It now turns out, Talat said, that "right-wing Hindu groups" and a serving Lt Col, Prasad Purohit, were behind the blasts. Aaj TV’s news programme, Prime TV, quoted Major Gen Athar Abbas, a senior Army officer, as saying that there are no terror camps on Pakistan’s eastern border.

GEO TV: On November 28, viewers heard something that took many by surprise: commandos seen sliding down a rope from a helicopter onto the Nariman House rooftop, were described as “Israelis’’. Geo TV said there were reports that the men in black were not Indian NSG commandos but Israeli ones. Just like Indian channels put together clips from "fringe Pakistani channels" to show how the Pakistani media was taking sides, a report on Geo TV pieced together a TV clip from Indian channels which, they said, had eagerly jumped to the conclusion that Pakistan was behind the attack and were pushing the Government to go to war with Pakistan. The report showed Indian reporters claiming that the Pak Navy was behind the attack, without attributing it to anyone. Another said rather provocatively, "Das atankwaadi, das ke das Pakistani." The report also shows clips of TV advocating attack on terror camps in Pakistan. But the report also says that there have been some voices of restraint. It took Kabir Bedi’s quote on Times Now: "Let’s make a distinction between the government of Pakistan and the people of Pakistan, let’s also make a distinction between this government of Pakistan and previous governments of Pakistan". On his programme Meray Mutabik, former PTV chief Dr Shahid Masood described the history and size of the Indian media, praised its role in breaking stories and its anti-establishment line. Masood wondered if India’s investigative journalists would get to "the truth of the Mumbai blasts instead of blaming Pakistan". A panel discussion, Capital Talk, took a more strident stand. It began with a "report" on the "atrocities India commits in the name of secularism—attacks on Christians, people gone missing in Kashmir, atrocities on Dalits". The show advised India to act against the likes of Pravin Togadia and Lt.Col Purohit, instead of carrying out a propaganda against Pakistan.

DAWN News: Another panel discussion; this time with the three top guns of Pakistani media—anchors Hamid Mir, Talat Hussain and Nasim Zehra. In an hour-long programme aired last Saturday and Sunday, they took turns to say that the Indian media was "too nationalistic", "told lies" and seemed to have made a habit of pointing fingers at Pakistan.

AL JAZEERA, QATAR, DOHA: Al Jazeera English tries to maintain a balance. It said that so far, there is “zero proof that Bin Laden and his Al Qaeda are in any way involved in the Mumbai attack" but added that the way Westerns were targeted makes the attacks a "trademark of the Al Qaeda”. It ended by saying: “Seems that like-minded groups are emerging in spite of the US’s so-called global war on terror”. On the channel’s Riz Khan Show, former CNN anchor, Riz Khan, in Mumbai “to study the success of Bollywood and explore social issues”, found himself assessing the attack: wasn’t this Mumbai’s 9/11? And how on earth did the attackers sneak in?

IBA NEWS, JERUSALEM: As expected the focus was on Rabbi Holtzberg and his wife killed in the Nari man House attack. One clip that makes it toYoutube is a report on the prayer meeting held in honour of the Rabbi and his family. It dwells on Baby Moshe still clutching his ball and still crying uncontrollably for his "Emma (mother)".

ON BLOGS

On http://darkcoldcoffee.wordpress.com/ 2008/11/30/, Raheel Lakhani questions the links between terrorists and religion in ‘A reaction is all they needed’. “Terrorists have no religion or nationality,” he writes. He thinks India and Pakistan are using the Mumbai attacks for their own purposes thereby playing into the terrorists hands who want “a ripple effect” and (you are) helping them achieve their motives”. Angry, he adds that if people around the world “are such cowards that our insecurities are only fulfilled by labeling, accusing and killing people'' or “harvesting more insecurities by propagation of fear then we all are also terrorists”.

“PS: The Arms Business is one of the biggest in the world. The fear propagated through them makes us buy them more.” With much talk on Indian TV of the need to raid Pakistan, Pakistanis debate the possibility and its possible outcome. Riaz Haq posted “Can India Do a Lebanon” in Pakistan (http://www.riazhaq.com/2008/12/can-india-dolebanon-in-pakistan.html) last Tuesday. He quotes Indian writer Pankaj Mishra's article in The Guardian on the possibility of India imitating Israeli raids on Lebanon. He wonders whether Indians growing admiration for Israel, Obama's support of India's right “to protect themselves”, and imminent general elections may tempt India to “do a Lebanon”?

In a detailed argument, he warns India would fail. “…they may… make some short-term tactical gains,” by killing a few suspected "terrorists", innocent civilians, and occupying some Pakistani territory temporarily. But in the long run, “they run the risk of a spectacular strategic failure leading to more and bigger terrorist attacks and possibly a nuclear conflagration in the South Asian region.” He argues that an Indian attack would “relieve pressure on Al Qaeda and the Taliban in Pakistan's FATA region, strengthen support for Pakistan's military, weaken Pakistan's democracy”.

Another blogger, Supersizeme feels ordinary Pakistanis do little to make any positive change “in this repulsive ideology that has grasped not only our country but our religion” or to disprove the stereotype that all Muslims are terrorists: “Instead of saying ‘yeah, we do have a problem. Lets try to think of ways to fix it’, we get incredibly defensive and take offense at anyone lumping us in with terrorists.'' Another response illustrates why many Pakistanis are now angry at India. Raza admits finding it hard to sympathise. “Be honest: although you let out an 'OMG' or a 'that looks terrible'…you snarled under your breath, 'they had it coming,' or, 'whatever…the Marriot was worse.'.. (So) why are we chastising Indians for feeling angry and afraid right now?'' One reason is that “Pakistan deals with this stuff every day'' but no one sympathises.

“Our people are getting killed day by day in this fight, and no one gives a s…. So do excuse us for being a just A LITTLE bitter.” Still, he hopes those responsible for the attacks are caught. “As Pakistanis, I am sure we will do everything in our power to make sure that this doesn't happen again. But boys, this is one ride you're gonna have to come along for...so strap in.''

As Indo-Pak relations nosedive, some bloggers offer solutions. Here's one from http://pitafi.com/2008/12/03/mumbaitragedy-a-doable-solution/ “The best, and perhaps the only, option is that India with the help of the international community probes the matter and compiles the evidence. Then it can provide Pakistan the evidence with the diplomatic request to try the accused. Pakistan government then can ensure that the apex court's full bench tries these element in open and transparent hearings and they are finally brought to the book.”

Lets hope that better sense prevails...

Dear Mr Prime Minister

Dear Mr. Prime Minister,

Hello. Please understand that i am at my politest best. Considering the present scenario (incase you dont understand what i am talking about - let me be clear - i am talking about how India was caught napping when Pakistan came and blew us out), i would like to get straight to the point.

You ofcourse (i believe) know what has happened in Mumbai. Its a kind request not to procrastinate any further and get a national defence policy in place. Like as soon as possible. And i have the right to tell you this. We elected you and our lives are being sacrificed as you go around with your ultra-sophisticated security. God knows whats taking you so long to make up your mind. First it was Jaipur, then Bangalore, then Ahmedabad, then Delhi, then Assam... and Mumbai was the final nail in the coffin. If losing a 1000 lives in the recent attacks is not enough, i would like to know, what will motivate you to take some action.

I read this on your official website. And i would like to politely quote your own website as to what your duties are:

"Some of the important matters that require the Prime Minister's personal attention include the following:

(a) Important defence-related issues;
(b) Decorations, both civilian and defence, where Presidential approval is required;
(c) All important policy issues;
(d) Proposals for appointment of Indian Heads of Missions abroad and requests for grant of agreement for foreign Heads of Missions posted to India;
(e) All important decisions relating to the Cabinet Secretariat;
(f) Appointments to State Administrative Tribunals and the Central Administrative Tribunal, UPSC, Election Commission, Appointment of members of statutory/constitutional Committees, Commissions attached to various Ministries;
(g) All policy matters relating to the administration of the Civil Services and administrative reforms;
(h) Special Packages announced by the Prime Minister for States are monitored in the PMO and periodical reports submitted to Prime Minister; and
(i) All judicial appointments for which Presidential approval is required.

So, to get to the point directly, your foremost duty, in the most simplest terms, is to protect India. And i must add that you have failed miserably at doing that. Had you spent even half of the energy you spent on acquiring that nuclear deal, behind securing our land and sea borders, we wouldnt have been in such a vulnerable position today. Had you spent even half of the time you spent discussing the alliances with the LEFT, behind listening and talking to our army, navy and air force chiefs, our safety wouldnt have been compromised to such degrees today. Had you spent even half of your time, addressing the important defense related meetings, instead of meeting the business honchos of this country, our financial capital wouldnt have been attacked.

Its high time you and your cabinet, give in your 100% to secure this country. We would like to see some action. We would like you to put your speeches into practise. We would like you to raise your voice and show Pakistan where it belongs to. We would like to see some of the promises you made come true.

And please dont cite budget or financial problems. It would be fair to pool in all your resources and invest them in securing our borders. Infact i have a brilliant idea. The donations that you will gather for the Congress party for the coming elections, why dont you divert all that funds into equipping our army with the best weapons, paying our soldiers enough money that the career in the armed forces is attractive, behind building such a huge army that any nation will think twice even before raising their sight towards us??? Believe me, the votes will follow automatically.

And the nation is with you. If you promise honest disbursement of money, the indians are ready to contribute their bit for the security of this nation. We will carry out a nationwide donation campaign to strengthen our army. And we already have The National Defense Fund in this regard. Though its sad to see, that inspite of the contribution from the public, the funds have been grossly underutilised.

Here are the details:

The National Defence Fund was set up to take charge of voluntary donations in cash and kind received for promotion of the national defence effort, and to decide on their utilisation. The Fund is used for the welfare of the members of the Armed Forces (including Para Military Forces) and their dependents. The Fund is administered by an Executive Committee, with PM as Chairperson, and Defence, Finance and Home Ministers as Members. Finance Minister is the Treasurer of the Fund and the Joint Secretary, PMO dealing with the subject is Secretary of the Executive Committee. Accounts of the Fund are kept with the Reserve Bank of India. The fund is entirely dependent on voluntary contributions from the public and does not get any budgetary support.

The Income and Expenditure Statement of the NDF for last five years is follows:-
B/F (Rs. in crore)

So its time to take some action, Mr Prime Minister. We have enough threats on our heads and we are sure that none of the leaders of the political parties will die. It will be those innocent civilians again. Do your bit and the votes will follow. Take some step and we will back you. Its time to leave apprehensions behind and take that one bold step that is the need of the moment. Do whatever in your means to secure this nation. Some dozen men cant just enter India, shoot some 150 people on a fine wednesday night at some of the poshest hotels in India. We cant let them to continue laughing at us. Go prove, we are not some jokers.

Promise us, that you will do something and you will do something good, something concrete. You have few months left in office and this is your time to transform your words into action. This is the time to show Pakistan that we wont take their droppings on our heads at the cost of humiliating us. This is the time to show to the world that we wont only be an economic superpower of the world but also the most secure place in the word. This is the time to show everyone that we cannot only produce the best engineers, doctors and scientists of this world but also the best army of this world. This is the time to show your fellow Indians that behind the soft spoken demeanour, there's a determined man who will stand by them in their trying times.

This is the time Mr. Prime Minister. And your time starts now.

Why didnt you tell me?? Part II

Thank you all for reading the blog and sharing some "experiences" with me.... I got some amazing responses for the previous post and some of them have actually committed a crime (in my eyes) for some of the most important things they forgot to share with their partner...

I once asked Amul to meet me at 7am at ATIRA for a morning walk. I conveniently forgot. I just didnt wake up. He went, walked around, returned home, slept off... only to see me.. all apologetic at 9am. :)

And as i have discovered... many around me have committed some amazing blunders in life... All of them requested to remain anonymous...

Some of their confessions... OFF THE RECORD ofcourse..

1) "I forgot to tell my girlfriend that i went to see this cricket match. She thought i was in office all the time. And i was so excited that i completely forgot to tell her or take her along. You can imagine how much explaining i had to do."

2) "I didnt tell my husband that i had joined a diet program.. I wanted to prove that i lost weight naturally without making any efforts. He finally discovered when he saw their leaflet addressed to me. He was upset."

3) "My ex boyfriend started gambling and betting on cricket matches. I never got to know of it till one day i caught him red handed stealing a 50 rupee note from my wallet. I was first taken aback as to why was he borrowing money without telling me. I wouldnt have bothered with a 50 rupee note. But he panicked and even before i asked, he blurted out everything. He couldnt leave gambling. So i left him."

4) "My boyfriend use to watch porn. He somehow never shared this with me. When i came to know... i was very upset."

5) "My wife convinced me into buying a second hand car instead of a brand new car. She said we will save money that way. The next day she went and got herself gold earrings. Without telling me. I was furious. I thought she was selfish."

6) "I forgot to pick up my child from school one day. I was tired and went off to sleep. When i woke up, my child had come home. The Principal dropped him home. I have never revealed this to my husband. He will be angry if he comes to know this."

7) "My boyfriend and i went for this long drive on the bike without telling my parents. We met with an accident and there was no one on the highway to help us. We somehow managed to reach Ahmedabad. It was nice of my parents to not scold me of having a boyfriend and driving off far without their knowledge. All they said was 'Why didnt you tell us?"

8) "Once after the fight, i went on this long drive by myself. Then watched a movie alone. Then had this huge thickshake. Ordered Dominoes. Watched a cricket match. Had good fun. Thought will upset my girlfriend by doing all this. On the other hand, she went on this shopping spree with her friends, then for pedicure, then for dinner and drinks with her friends, winding up at a pub dancing till 1am in the morning. The next day we patched up. Not wanting to hurt each other, none of us revealed what we did the previous day. One fine day, she discovered the single movie ticket from my dashboard. I spilled the beans. Another fine day, her friends returned the money that she had paid for the dinner and drinks. She too had to spill the beans. Both the times, spilling beans led to fights."

9) "Long years back when i was dating my wife.. i was to meet her brother for the first time. I completely forgot about the appointment. My wife and her brother kept waiting for me at a restaurant for 1 hour, before she called to remind me of the appointment. I was however on my way to meet a client in the opposite direction. Not only did i forget that appointment, i fixed up another meeting... only to forget it again. I finally met my brother in law in the third appointment. Its still a family joke."

Hope all of you learnt your lessons from this... :)

Got more??? Hit the comment section... i would love to hear more.

Why didnt you tell me??

Many a times, when two people grow close.. they end up sharing thoughts, dreams and sometimes even day dreams with each other. But while sharing the most intimate of your dreams and fears with each other, i have observed that individuals often forget to share the most obvious things with each other.. things which are so neccesary to share or are very important for the other one to know.

In past, i have made such mistakes. But not with the motive of hiding. But due to sheer lack of misjudgement. "Ohhh... i didnt know it was so important for you to know." I have often used this line, when i unknowingly have not shared my decision, my plan or even thoughts with Amul. And i have suffered. But i have learnt my lessons. Many dont.

Some people forget whats important for your partner to know. Some of them have no clue that something is best left unsaid and something is extremely important to be shared. And over a period of time, i have not only learnt from my experience but also from other people.

I learnt one today. Overheard a co-professional (cant call him colleague because we dont work together but we work in the same field) talking to his wife over the phone.

HE: I am not coming to Rajkot.
Silence.... perhaps his wife was talking.
HE: I didnt get leave and therefore there's no way i can come to pick you up. You please manage.
Silence....
HE: Why do i have to tell you every little thing? If i cant come, i cant come. Whats such a big deal? I have always come to see your parents after Diwali. If i cant come this one time. Whats the big deal?
Silence....
HE: So what if i forgot to tell you? You should understand... And why do i have to inform you about every little thing? You can very well travel by yourself. And its no emergency to see your family right now. Dont make a big deal out of it.
Silence...
HE: Why i forgot???..... I forgot.. so i forgot. I dont report to you. If i wish to convey something i will. If i dont wish to convey something... i wont.

The phone disconnects....

Cribs to the other men around how nowadays women demand account of every minute spent out of home...

Today's lesson: Always tell your partner if you cannot make it somewhere.

I completely sympathize with the wife who was bearing the brunt of her truant husband.

But i think both the sexes need to understand that communication is one of the most important tool in your 'FIX IT ALL' box required in dire straits. When you want a hassle-free, smooth and peaceful relationship, it helps if you SHARE the most basic aspects of your life with your partner. And by sharing i dont mean sharing time together. 'Oh.. we spend whole day together" "We always have dinner together" "We make it a point to spend 15 minutes a day just with each other everyday".

And inspite of spending so much time "together"... how many of you have heard or said these lines to your parnter. "Sorry.. i forgot to tell you." "I didnt know you would like to know." "I thought it wasnt important enough to tell you." "I was thinking of telling you... but then i forgot."

Go by the golden rule guys: "COMMUNICATE".

• Never forget to say if you cant make it.
• Never forget to mention that you met your old friend, friend, ex-colleague, new friend.
• Never forget an appointment. (ITS BLASPHEMOUS)
• If you are generally a forgetful person, write down what needs to be communicated in your mobile phone. In Notes section, in drafts... wherever possible. Set a reminder to it.
• If you have planned something in your life... even if its shopping or meeting relatives... let your partner know. You never know when it becomes a big issue.
• If you planned something more significant - like changing jobs, buying new vehicle, investing in FDs, gifting holidays to parents or just simply spending huge amount, let your partner know.
• If you have already taken the plunge... like quit your job in a jiffy, fought with your in-laws, smashed the car, broken your leg, squandered money or just simply have cheated... still let your partner know immediately... as soon as possible.

And they always say.. its not the big things but always the small things that cause big issues...

For girls...

• Dont forget to mention if you have met your old boyfriend or an old school friend. Especially if its a boy.


• Dont forget to mention if you have had a haircut. Especially an expensive one.


• Dont forget to say that you have had panipuri in the evening and therefore are not hungry anymore. Especially if he's planning to take you out for dinner at a really nice place.


• Dont forget to mention if you have used up all your salary in shopping and its only 10th day of the month. Especially if you have a planned holiday in the last week of the same month.


• Dont forget to convey or pass on the message of your parents to your partner. That will be a double whammy... both the sides will fume at you, later if not sooner.

For Boys...

• Dont forget to tell your girl if the movie that you are planning to watch is an action thriller. Especially if it does not have a good looking hero.


• Dont forget to tell your girl if she's looking pretty. Especially if she's had a bad day.


• Dont forget to convey your mom's message to your girl. Even is its a compliment.


• Dont forget to tell your girlfriend if dont plan to /wish to go along with her to her friend's place or relatives' place.


• Never forget to turn up on time. Even if she makes you wait. And especially if she's coming along with you for your friend's gathering.


• Never forget to tell her who called? Say it right after you put down the phone. Its simple. Just say, "Darling, he/she called."


• Never forget the golden rule. A good guy never recalls/re-enacts/reminds the most embarassing moments of his girl's life. She didnt share it with you to make it an anecdote.

So its quite simple... And yeah... when something like this reminds you of a personal experience or an incident of someone else's life... DONT FORGET TO SHARE IT WITH ME.

I will post the comments (keeping the names anonymous) in my next blog.

My World This Week

I want: Weekends off and a pay hike

This Sunday: Spa and Deep Conditioning

Never will: Smoke or dope

Yearning for: Devam to come back and a Goa Trip

Dreading: Nanavati Commission's Part II report and Diwali Sweets


Want to: Go on a Vacation (like right now) and make a documentary (just need a little push)

Hate it: When Mom reminds me how much (very little in this case) time i spend at home and when people ask: When are you getting married?

Love it: When Amul pampers me and showers me with attention and Sunday is approaching.

Would like to thank god for: Strong Digestive System, Shahrukh Khan and inventing the concept of Sleep

Recent Discovery: I suffer from short term memory loss. (cant recall what was said just a minute ago) But i have execellent long term memory

Wish to control: Sensex and Mom's temper

Looking forward to: Diwali gatherings and Anu's wedding

Current Favourites: Jasuben Pizza and Shambhu's cold coffee

Last Expense: L&T's 5 shares

Pending Expense: Wagon R's service and getting rid of the scratch

Currently Reading: Exodus by Leon Uris, Scarred by Dionna Bunsha, Descent into Chaos by Ahmed Rashid.


Want to indulge in: A watch for myself and Amul, a trip to New York, egypt vacation for parents, Diwali party for friends, diamond earrings, Hyundia Verna or a Mitsubishi Lancer.................

Shut Up!!

After a long day at work on an outstation trip, he had just come back to town. Famished and tired, he looked forward to the gathering at his farm house where friends and family were meeting over for drinks and dinner. After exchanging the usual mundane mandatory exchanges with everyone present, he sunk into a chair, staring at the table that housed food. It was unappealing, scarce and cold to say the least. Aadha mood to vahi marr gaya..

After half hearted attempts by others to bring warm and enough food to the table, he finally got hold of a plate and sat down to eat. But just when he was about to start... he noticed that she wasnt eating. He offered her food - drawing her attention to the vegetarian food. She's a vegetarian. But she wasnt interested. She just nodded and asked him to continue eating. She instead got hold of a cold drink and carried on.

First no food, second no babe to accompany him in dinner... it wasnt getting any better. But it was a full moon night, with a lotus pond nearby and winters just setting in. Had everything been in place - the food, the time and the girl.. it would have been perfect.

'Par kisiko bhi mukammal jahan nahi milta'....

Just after the dinner was done... came in the sweet dish. Traditional Sweet Dish special of the day. After half of the guests relished it and other half rejected it, he got down to eat two bowls of that sweet dish. It calmed him down a bit. Perhaps the coolness of the sweet dish, reached his restless nerves. He was happy now. Everything seemed nice. With stomach (finally) full, his girl by his side, his friends around, a full moon still right above the head... it was time to relax.. and enjoy some conversation.

Most of the people left... it was just him and a few more of his friends. He plonked himself on a swing and was enjoying the weather when a conversation about how one should lead a life started. He has always been a good listener. But he likes to talk sometimes. She has always been talkative... not stopping to hear anyone. Two complete opposites would attract each other but sometimes practical environment takes over the famous quote.

The conversation went on for a few minutes. She never let him speak. He heard her as much as he could. She went on and on non stop. After a few minutes, he gave up. He knew that the evening was never meant to be the way he had envisioned. Good food, good conversations and a good girl... it just had to end... in a goodnight.

Only if she had shut up at the right time!!

Be Happy Guys!!!

I just got back from Sanand. Its some 30 kms from Ahmedabad. The reason for it to be in focus is because Ratan Tata is setting up Nano's mother plant in coming days. After all the trouble he had to go through in Singur in West Bengal, Sanand was the chosen one. And though a few people wouldnt want to admit, the credit definitely goes to the Gujarat CM Narendra Modi. And unfortunately, many people cannot digest the fact that Nano came to Gujarat only because Modi worked on it relentlessly.

Whats your problem guys??? Just that you did not get the credit for doing it? Or just because you are plain jealous of the guy?? Or your conscience which is anti-Modi, doesnt allow you to be happy for your state's progress?? I think its high time we give Modi the due praise which he rightly deserves... Even a wrong man can do a right thing once in a while. And getting Nano to Gujarat is no easy feat. Yes, there's this 2002 genocide on his sleeve, but look at the rest for once. Gujarat is the No 1 investment destination in country... It was never so before Modi took over. Gujarat has flawless roads and electricity supply... Ask someone who's living in Maharashtra or Madhya Pradesh or Bihar... or even Delhi.

I am very happy. I wish 2002 had never happened. Nothing could have stopped Modi then from becoming everyone's favourite. Perhaps, Modi too, as an afterthought, must be going through the same feeling. But past always catches up on you. And human beings have this peculiar habit of always remembering the wrong and forgetting the good or right.

I suggest - leave your prejudices against the man aside for a while. Think about the honour, pride and prestige that he's brought to the state. If nothing, do consider that India's biggest Steel maker - TATA is extremely happy with our state and the government.

And all this that we keep on cribbing about - the equality, the education, the infrastructure, the opportunities, the lifestyle - all of that comes from money. Money comes from growth and progress. And growth and progress happens only when you accept it with open arms and minds, leaving your prejudice and hatred for a man aside.

For all those - who arent happy about acknowledging Modi for his efforts, its time to give up small bickerings!! For once, leave that frown aside. If nothing, its about Gujarat... Gujarat is doing well. Gujarat is gaining popularity. Gujarat is going to make money. And if for once, Gujarat is being known for Nano and not for Godhra - I am sure its deserves a chance.

On the Move...

What do you do when you cant go on a vacation? Coz its unethical to get out of work and take a holiday when you know that the prime time to work is NOW... but at the same time... your friends want to go on a holiday (and if i may add, they very well will) ... So what do you do??

Say NO. I think thats the most basic simple answer to all the unhappiness in life. Why say 'yes' first, then fight with everybody at work to let you go, just to realise you are fighting the right battle for a wrong cause.... and finally just get a NO as an answer from your boss, just spoiling your impression.... all the while letting the decision remain hanging in air. SO, to avoid many disappointments that are bound to come later and ruining your friends' happiness and patience, simply say NO.

The reason for my cribbing is that Amul is almost headed to Gir with his brother (chintan),  Mayur (friend) and Kevin (Scottish Australian Friend). Now when you cant get out of Ahmedabad for a holiday... and you cant even stop Amul from going... this entire melodramatic 'i hate him... but how do i stop him either?' feeling starts churning in your head...

Its a complete Urban life stress dilemma as the psychologists would call it. Had i been a villager, i would have never be working as a journalist, nor would be in this highly stressful job nor would have to deal with bosses netheir fight with my emotions. Its only because i live a urban life that i have to deal with these kind of things. Its literally like 'not going and not wanting him to go'... i know i am being cruel and self centred... but i am just being honest.

But if one has to be practical and ideal, i will have to just get on with my work as if 'it doesnt bother me' and stop thinking about it. And that's exactly what i will do. I hope Amul has great fun at Gir forests. I would have loved to go but perhaps its not meant to be.
lets look at the happier side though... i fell upon this site.. which has a photoessay on 'People in the car on move'... I hope you all enjoy the pictures... here's to people who have freedom to 'move'.

I am on my way to rob a bank!!

What you looking at?!!

Will you sit quietly or should i bang the car??

Not without my dog!!

On my way to Club!!

When I drive... everybody stops!!

God... where's my next shot???

Terrorist... even in the car!!

Me and my friend are on a girl trip... go get lost!!!

Finally i have time to read!!!

The Kiss!!! Aaaahhhh....

I am 90, going on 91.

Dont come in my way, mista....

Those were the best days of my life!!!

You like my hairstyle???

I'm the barbie girl.. in the barbie car...

Elvis!!

I am moving!!