The Morning Chat!!!

Devam doesnt want me to write this blog!!! He has pleaded me umpteen times not to put our conversation on the blog... but believe me... chatting with him is one of the biggest 'botox' like shot that i can give to my life. I woke up at 5am today to cover the annual rath yatra in ahmedabad. I got home and when i logged onto write my script... viola... i found devam online.

The morning chat started from life's philosophy, went onto global warming, to this road trip i want to go on, to not wanting to get married, to ruining amul's life after marriage and finally goodbye. It was time for him to go to sleep in Barack Obama's land.


He has asked me not to reveal much about him. He wants to enter films with a bang... as if he came from no where... :)


But thats not possible when he has an elder sister, who not only talks too much but can also write and has an exclusive rights to a blog. Dear Devam, you are still to have your fans.... I already have them. :) I have to live upto their expectations. I know you will understand this bit.

So here are some highlights of the conversation.... enjoy!!!

Devam's New Found Philosophy

devam: all u want is everythin.. is tht a problem

well yes it is

materialism is a enemy of time..

me: ohhh ya

someone is becoming very philosophical

devam: ofcourse

me: the thing is

i feel... i have one life to live

and why cant i have everything?

devam: if u have 1 life to live

find the true meaning to it

and contribute to the world

me: ohhh ya????

devam: theres more happiness in giving then taking

me: dont u think i have given enough

devam: nope

me: why dont other people give me anything

devam: the process will only begin when ull realise the true meaning to ur existence

me: true meaning of my existence is that i work too hard for kind of salary i earn

i need to take it a little easy

put my feet up

chill my heels

smile a little more

devam: yes

me: close my eyes

devam: u can do tht

me: and relax

and even go to sleep

if i can do all this by a beach in goa.... nothing like that

devam: yup

n once u r done attaining calm

go help the world

give give give

n get the pleasure of giving

Observation: I couldnt believe it was my own brother talking. A person who can buy a shirt worth Rs 13000/- without thinking of those lakhs who go hungry to bed everynight... has suddenly transformed into this 'giver' of the world.

Devam on Global Warming

devam: wid Industrialization, r they growing more trees?

me: yes they are

u shall be surprised

devam: ok very good

me: but our highways are fantastic

thy have grown trees in between

devam: im very concerned abt global warming..

i dun care abt highways.. i travel by air

all im concerned is abt India bein greener than ever

me: ya... and waste tonnes and tonnes of fuel... and someone just said he was concerned about global warming.

what a farce u are devam

devam: arre farce shu ema.. i dun have time

i have to save time, so i can reach to more and more ppl

me: yes... talk about flying and global warming in the same sentence

hahahahha

devam: arre!!

me: u still have a lot to learn chotta aadmi

devam: Al gore is a Green Revolution ambassador

does tht mean he shud stop flying and go by car everywhere

me: no... he should cycle

devam: mebbe next time when he crosses the atlantic, he shud build a highway in order to save fuel

me: or even better... conduct online conferences and save paper and fuel

devam: yeah rite

me: well... ppl who are concerned... can do things

devam: only 13% of the world population is internet savvy

me: people who just need to talk... will definitely find excuses

devam: it doesnt work liddat

dun talk like a chhota aadmi

think in terms of gore or me

devam: its almost impossible to reach out to common man, which is y we have to reach out to ppl like u

me: yaa yayayaaa...

devam: who can in turn spread our msg

me: ya right

devam: n we'll cover the globe slowly wid help of ppl like u

me: i have no time for your crap

devam: arre ... im tryin to save planet earth

me: yayaya yaaa

where am i denying it

devam: n u r bein ignorant juss like everybody else

me: hahahaha

Devam on my road trip

devam: u cool of ur heels in goa

ill try cool my planet

me: i havent laughed so much before 10am in ages

yeah... cool devam.... cool planet

why dont u send me some money

i want to take a road trip

devam: go walking.. its free n planet freindly

me: i m not into global warming

devam: but i am .... which is y i wanna contribute in my own li'll way n not encourage something which is gonna emit dangerous gases

Sent at 10:17 AM on Wednesday

devam: be it ur road trip resulting into gas emission or be it tht table full of indian dishes tht u'll ultimatey turn into poisonous gases

me: so u want everyone to stop driving, flying and manufacturing

ohhh... that misal pau was brilliant

devam: read before consumption - misal pau

after consumption - missile pau

me: you owe me money...can i have it now please?

devam: y

me: i want to go on a road trip

devam: hahaha

now not possible

it takes time

me: why not now???

i want to go on a road trip before my wedding

alone

take wagon r

devam: u dun wanna start me again on global warming

r u goin to singapore in ur wagon r tht u need 2 lacs?

it'll be cheaper to go by air then

me: stopover at baroda, surat, mumbai, matheran, ratnagiri, sindhudurg, goa, bangalore, mysore, chennai, pondicherry and hyderabad, nagpur and bacck

devam: go by train

abbe save money for ur wedding

Devam on pursuing me to marry...

devam: before ur wedding, we acharyas we'll definitely go to a undisclosed holiday for 3-4 days

me: i dont want to get married...

devam: haha

abbe chal hawe ghar khaali kar.. bau rahi tu ghare..

now wats ur new excuse?

me: is there any need to change wagon r's colour, tyres, music system, garage, seat covers???

devam: i dunno.. i havent even seen tht car

me: same way... why do i need to change my name, residence, family, room, priorities....

devam: bcos car is a commodity and u r a person

me: but i am fine where i am

infact iam great where i am

devam: yes u r

me: why change it

devam: bcos u made the choice

we all have the choices.... ppl like d**** didi were successful daughter, professional..

but she never enjoyed the status of a successful wife or mother

or a daughter in law.. bcos they din choose to do so

they din choose to welcome new life..

uve made the choice, so stick by it and enjoy the ride

luckily u have a companion wid u on tht ride whom uve known for yrs n grown fond of

me: it sounds challenging...

infact i hate amul

he told me he would remarry the moment i died and i was out of his path

devam: haha

everybody waits for tht

me: why should i marry someone who's waiting for me to die so that he can remarry

devam: but majority of times the guy passes away before.. seein the ataychars from the so-called abla-naari

me: hahahahaha

devam: hahahaha

me: yes... i think i should marry

i want to do all the atyachaars on amul

devam: be peaceful, loving and giving

me: i will call him to get limbu and bateka

every evening

at 6pm sharp

even if he gets a kilo everyday... i will throw them away and remind him to get limbu

devam: dun throw them away

make limbu no ras

feed him

so tht gives him energy to bring some more limbus

Well... that was the end of it.... Devam finally was tired of talking to me... and called for a 'pack up'... He's off to sleep... while its time for me to check where Lord Jaganath along with his brother Baldev and sister Subhadra have reached in Ahmedabad.

Chao!!!

The idea of being Mrs. Jani!!

I guess i cant run away from it anymore... the days are lessening as the realisation sets upon, that now its just a matter of months before I go on to become a wife and a daughter-in-law. The carefree days of living in shorts, waking up at will, refusing to do household chores, watching tv with feet on the table, eating at odd hours and loading my milk with 3 spoons of bournvita will soon come to an end.

Perhaps i am just exaggerating... but who loves to give up on the old cushy life??? And marriage, though will give me a chance to start a completely new life with tolly, is going to mean that i give up everything that i have lived with. To start with, my parents, my home, my room, my bed and my wardrobe... just about everything. I am just so use to living the singlehood life of being responsible only for myself that i wonder if i will be able to manage with another human, his needs, his way of living, his way of eating, his way of sleeping and sharing so much together. Especially with his family... who my friends tell 'change completely' the moment you get married. The thought is extremely exciting... but am not sure the reality will be equally exciting.

I asked a lot of married women around... if they ever dreaded being married. I am not going to quote any but 90% of them dreaded being married. Almost all of them dread being with their in-laws... some even feel they deserve an award to get along with their mother-in-law. :) The comments and contributions are from all married women. I am the only one who's not married yet. All of them are in a fresh marriage and inspite of the 'dreadfulness' they all recommend marriage to me. But there's no denying that all of them atleast once dreaded being married.

And their most basic fear was of living with another family than with their husband... Here are some of them sharing their secrets... OFF THE RECORD.

"I dont know if my in-laws will adjust to my late night shifts at work?"

"I got married very young so something i dreaded the most was if my mother in law will be fine if i dont cook?"

"I can no more watch my favourite telly serial at 9.. there's only one tv in the house. My father in law likes to watch news at that time. But i loved the way my husband gave me a nice budget of designing our room the way we like."

"I have never covered my head at my mom's place. But i knew before i accepted the proposal that if i chose to get married to this guy, it means i will have to have my head covered everytime any male of the family is around. That was something i really dreaded. Getting use to something that i have never lived with. But now i am used to it."

"I got married to an older guy. Just a day after i accepted the proposal, my mother in law, in private, made it clear that they needed a grandchild as soon as possible. I didnt know at that time if i should refuse or should i go with it. But i liked my husband. He's been a wonderful partner. And yes, its only been 3 years of marriage and i have a cute 2 year old baby girl. And to say the least, my mother in law is happy. But i completely dreaded being married that time."

"I had been in this wonderful relationship for 3 years and wanted to live with him. I would have preferred the live in relationship. But we love our parents too much to go against their wish of being married first and then living to gether. So we got married. I had no option. Ofcourse, i dreaded the word 'marriage' but i love every aspect of it... living together, sharing the same bed, making out and surviving on small meals that i cook that he relishes with so much love. I can say i still live the same life."

"The thing that i dreaded the most was - how will i spend my entire life with him? What if i didnt like him forever? I'd never have another chance. Was completely horrified. Not anymore though. :)"

"I dreaded my marriage the most. I had accepted a proposal where I was going to live with my in-laws after marriage. My husband was abroad. And i was like, till i get my visas, how am i going to live with someone i dont even know, forget love? I lived with my in laws for 3 months hardly venturing out of the house. God... i never want to recall those days. I have never adjusted so much."

"You will laugh but the thing that i dreaded the most was - how am i going to give my clothes to wash? How am i going to get my undergarments washed and i completely dreaded my mother-in-law's habit of folding the washed clothes in front of the television set in the living room, when everyone was watching tv together. The solution: as soon as i come from work, i rush to the balcony, pick up my undergarments, stuff it in my purse and go into my room so that they dont turn up in living room in front of everyone."

"My mother-in-law was so religious that after marriage, without even asking me, made this 4 day plan of visiting temples all around. My husband didnt even come saying his leave was over. So i was trotted around for 4 days to various temples. Dont ask me what i prayed for."

"If you look at the essence of being married - committing yourself to the same person for the rest of your life, wanting to have babies with him and grow old to wipe his dribble off his chin, i never dreaded marriage. But i dread everyday things that accompany a typical indian marriage, where sometimes you are kind of expected to dramatically alter your individuality for various convoluted reasons."

"My husband's father is involved with this community that follows religion very emotionally. This means regular satsangs at our place, oldies turning up at house after the morning and evening walks, and preparing 30 cups of tea or coffee daily when they come visiting. I took it nicely for 4 months. I knew this before i got married and I completely dreaded this part of the marriage. One fine day, i told my father-in-law that i would like to hire 24 hour maid to take care of all this. We did that. He's happy and so am i."

"I am dreading marriage after being married for 4 years. We had such a good life together. My mom in law never forced me into believing all the astrologers that she consults for every little thing. Now that i have a cute 6 month old, she's been crazily showing his kundli to every astrologer on this planet. I am completely dreading that moment when she will come up with the idea of making my child wear those rings or lockets. If she's reading this: NO is my answer. If she asks me... i dont know what will i say."

So, well... with all the positive dreams of travelling together and getting to live together, making babies and building a small family together... i too am dreading those moments when arguements or disappointments will arise, just because i am different.. That would be dreadful. But i guess i am just over exaggerating. As one of my friend says, "its no big deal mos. just continue with the kind of life that you have lived. your husband and his family will come around." Well, yes... thats a good idea. I am just hoping that god gives me the strength and maturity to understand the family that i am going to embrace as my own. And i really hope God looks after me personally once i am married.

And what does amul have to say about this? Amul: "Its this expectation from life to always be smooth thats giving you all the load baby. Just rather try to accept that there'll be bumps on way. That thats how life is. N that what makes it worth looking forward to every next day. "

I guess he must be true... perhaps i am just taking too much load.