Why didnt you tell me??

Many a times, when two people grow close.. they end up sharing thoughts, dreams and sometimes even day dreams with each other. But while sharing the most intimate of your dreams and fears with each other, i have observed that individuals often forget to share the most obvious things with each other.. things which are so neccesary to share or are very important for the other one to know.

In past, i have made such mistakes. But not with the motive of hiding. But due to sheer lack of misjudgement. "Ohhh... i didnt know it was so important for you to know." I have often used this line, when i unknowingly have not shared my decision, my plan or even thoughts with Amul. And i have suffered. But i have learnt my lessons. Many dont.

Some people forget whats important for your partner to know. Some of them have no clue that something is best left unsaid and something is extremely important to be shared. And over a period of time, i have not only learnt from my experience but also from other people.

I learnt one today. Overheard a co-professional (cant call him colleague because we dont work together but we work in the same field) talking to his wife over the phone.

HE: I am not coming to Rajkot.
Silence.... perhaps his wife was talking.
HE: I didnt get leave and therefore there's no way i can come to pick you up. You please manage.
Silence....
HE: Why do i have to tell you every little thing? If i cant come, i cant come. Whats such a big deal? I have always come to see your parents after Diwali. If i cant come this one time. Whats the big deal?
Silence....
HE: So what if i forgot to tell you? You should understand... And why do i have to inform you about every little thing? You can very well travel by yourself. And its no emergency to see your family right now. Dont make a big deal out of it.
Silence...
HE: Why i forgot???..... I forgot.. so i forgot. I dont report to you. If i wish to convey something i will. If i dont wish to convey something... i wont.

The phone disconnects....

Cribs to the other men around how nowadays women demand account of every minute spent out of home...

Today's lesson: Always tell your partner if you cannot make it somewhere.

I completely sympathize with the wife who was bearing the brunt of her truant husband.

But i think both the sexes need to understand that communication is one of the most important tool in your 'FIX IT ALL' box required in dire straits. When you want a hassle-free, smooth and peaceful relationship, it helps if you SHARE the most basic aspects of your life with your partner. And by sharing i dont mean sharing time together. 'Oh.. we spend whole day together" "We always have dinner together" "We make it a point to spend 15 minutes a day just with each other everyday".

And inspite of spending so much time "together"... how many of you have heard or said these lines to your parnter. "Sorry.. i forgot to tell you." "I didnt know you would like to know." "I thought it wasnt important enough to tell you." "I was thinking of telling you... but then i forgot."

Go by the golden rule guys: "COMMUNICATE".

• Never forget to say if you cant make it.
• Never forget to mention that you met your old friend, friend, ex-colleague, new friend.
• Never forget an appointment. (ITS BLASPHEMOUS)
• If you are generally a forgetful person, write down what needs to be communicated in your mobile phone. In Notes section, in drafts... wherever possible. Set a reminder to it.
• If you have planned something in your life... even if its shopping or meeting relatives... let your partner know. You never know when it becomes a big issue.
• If you planned something more significant - like changing jobs, buying new vehicle, investing in FDs, gifting holidays to parents or just simply spending huge amount, let your partner know.
• If you have already taken the plunge... like quit your job in a jiffy, fought with your in-laws, smashed the car, broken your leg, squandered money or just simply have cheated... still let your partner know immediately... as soon as possible.

And they always say.. its not the big things but always the small things that cause big issues...

For girls...

• Dont forget to mention if you have met your old boyfriend or an old school friend. Especially if its a boy.


• Dont forget to mention if you have had a haircut. Especially an expensive one.


• Dont forget to say that you have had panipuri in the evening and therefore are not hungry anymore. Especially if he's planning to take you out for dinner at a really nice place.


• Dont forget to mention if you have used up all your salary in shopping and its only 10th day of the month. Especially if you have a planned holiday in the last week of the same month.


• Dont forget to convey or pass on the message of your parents to your partner. That will be a double whammy... both the sides will fume at you, later if not sooner.

For Boys...

• Dont forget to tell your girl if the movie that you are planning to watch is an action thriller. Especially if it does not have a good looking hero.


• Dont forget to tell your girl if she's looking pretty. Especially if she's had a bad day.


• Dont forget to convey your mom's message to your girl. Even is its a compliment.


• Dont forget to tell your girlfriend if dont plan to /wish to go along with her to her friend's place or relatives' place.


• Never forget to turn up on time. Even if she makes you wait. And especially if she's coming along with you for your friend's gathering.


• Never forget to tell her who called? Say it right after you put down the phone. Its simple. Just say, "Darling, he/she called."


• Never forget the golden rule. A good guy never recalls/re-enacts/reminds the most embarassing moments of his girl's life. She didnt share it with you to make it an anecdote.

So its quite simple... And yeah... when something like this reminds you of a personal experience or an incident of someone else's life... DONT FORGET TO SHARE IT WITH ME.

I will post the comments (keeping the names anonymous) in my next blog.